Hey, it’s Jeremie Kubicek here.

We’re excited to have you for this week’s edition of the Relational Intelligence at Work newsletter, where every Tuesday you’ll get an email straight to your inbox from me or our team here at GiANT.

This newsletter's primary goal is to support you on your personal growth journey, and to equip you with the skills and knowledge you need to excel as a leader.

Let's dive in...

Before we get into the message, a quick word from today's sponsor:

Consider bringing Jeremie Kubicek, the co-founder of GiANT, into your team or organization to share the 5 Code Words of Communication and watch the performance of your teams improve overnight.

Go to jeremiekubicek.com and check out Keynote Topics for more information.)

Dealing with Self-Preservation

Every person who strives to be better has to deal with fear at some level.

The same is true for those who wish to lead at higher levels.

There’s a natural self-preservation that we all have as we manage risk and reward. However, when the fear of loss begins to control the mind and behavior, it can create deadly consequences.

And self-preservation can usually be boiled down to three different questions:

1. What am I afraid of losing?

2. What am I trying to hide?

3. What am I trying to prove? To whom?

What are you afraid of losing?

At GiANT, we work with dozens of leaders who are so afraid of losing that they tend to lose themselves in the process. Things like salary, benefits, and consistent income are all common things people are afraid of losing.

While it is natural to not want to lose a salary or job, we have found that insecurity creates so much damage inside business or family.

What are you trying to hide?

The self-aware leader can answer any challenge without fear, while the insecure leader will do anything to keep people from seeing their weaknesses.

I just met with a leader who was trying to hide the fact that he was under-qualified with this job, but didn’t want his boss to know. He was faking it to make it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out.

If he had simply asked for help he would have received what he needed to do his job well.

What are you trying to prove?

To lead at the highest level and become the type of leader you want to be, this question must be dealt with honestly. Along the way, many leaders fall down while trying to prove to others that they’re strong.

This was me in my 30’s. I had just taken over the CEO position of the John Maxwell companies, which we had acquired. I was desperately trying to prove that I knew what I was doing.

The problem was that I didn’t.

I worked hard to overwork to show that I knew when all I had to do was humble myself and ask more questions instead of acting like I knew what to do.

Proving yourself is a natural rite of passage in any job. However, if insecurity is rooted deeply in you, then the overproving can actually undermine your influence as a leader.

Put another way, self-preservation is the overprotection of what you’re afraid of losing.

When you overprotect, you tend to lose what you were afraid of losing in the first place.

To overcome your self-preservation and become the leader you were meant to be, you need to break through your own insecurities and become a secure, confident, and humble leader.

There will be a cost — mentally, financially, and physically — just like working out in the gym, it won’t always be fun, but the results you’ll see from putting in the work will be worth it.

That's all for today's message. Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

Jeremie Kubicek