Relational Intelligence at Work
on December 19, 2023
Hey, it’s Jeremie Kubicek here.
We’re excited to have you for this week’s edition of the Relational Intelligence at Work newsletter, where every Tuesday you’ll get an email straight to your inbox from myself or my business partner, Steve Cockram.
This newsletter's primary goal is to support you on your personal growth journey, and to equip you with the skills and knowledge you need to excel as a leader.
And for today’s message, we want to share with you an incredible tool that has helped so many people reinvent themselves in a 12 month window, the Change Equation.
Let’s dive in…
Without vision, the people perish.
Without vision, (hope of what the future could be) the people become hopeless.
And hopeless people allow circumstances to dictate the terms of how they live, leading to a victim mindset and constant negativity, blaming everything but themselves.
Negative (hopeless) people lose influence and create negative cultures. Negative cultures are like toxic greenhouses which kill the life in people.
If you want to keep the fire burning in your life, and in the lives of those you lead, you have to create a strong vision.
The Vision Test
Let’s take a subjective vision test to see how strong your vision is.
First, do you feel like you have a vision for 2024?
Do you know what you want to achieve?
Have you set any goals yet in your personal life or business?
Second, 1–10 (10 being highest), how strong is your vision?
Did you just write it down to feel better about it? Or are you fully committed to doing everything in your power to turn your vision into a reality?
If you scored below 5 then you need to do some significant work on your vision, the red zone we call it.
If it’s between 5–7 then you are in a yellow zone, which needs more focus. And, if you are from 7–10 then it may help to restate your vision and help other people get to their next vision level.
To get to your vision, I like to start by looking at what you’re dissatisfied with in your life.
Because if you’re not hungry for change and improvement, you’ll never become the person you’re supposed to be.
The Change Equation
Change = D x V x N > R (B / H / G)
Please don’t check out. This formula, once understood, has led to many people completely changing the trajectory of their lives.
Here’s what it means…
D = Dissatisfaction
What do you not like about your life and the direction you are heading right now? Where are you not satisfied as it relates to your future?
V = Vision
The best example I know of vision comes from a girl’s group that might date me as I share it…
The Spice Girls do a good job of explaining vision in one of their songs with “what do you want, do you really, really want?”
If your 2024 vision is to lose a few pounds and look good with your clothes off, then that is what you really, really want.
If your vision for the next year is to take your business from X to Y, then that is what you really, really want.
Or, maybe, just maybe your vision is to restore a key relationship within the next 12 months.
So let’s practice. Answer this question by filling in the last portion.
In 2024, I really, really want…
Do another. Within the next 12 months I want…
Now, summarize it by saying, “my vision for 2024 is to…” and fill in the blanks.
Boom! There you go. You’re on your way.
Now that we have tackled Dissatisfaction and Vision, it’s time to put the plan together to see that vision come to life.
But unfortunately, this is where most people start — goal setting…
In order for goals to have meaning, they need to fit within the vision, which is why vision comes before goal setting.
Next in the equation…
N = Naturally Next
Naturally next meaning the next steps to getting to what you really, really want.
The easiest way to do this is just make a list of whatever comes to mind.
For example, if your dissatisfaction is with your weight and your historical lack of success in managing it; and your vision is to create a new mindset as it relates to a healthy lifestyle by changing patterns and losing X number of pounds, then your next steps could look like:
Stop drinking carbs
Partner with a friend to exercise
Spend 10 minutes each morning getting my mindset right on what I will and won't do today.
You get the gist.
The goal is to write down 3–5 tasks to accomplish your vision and get rid of your dissatisfaction.
It could be a Naturally Next list for restoring a relationship or growing your business or whatever your vision is.
Time to Check in
How are you feeling so far?
Don’t stop now. It’s time to confront the very things or people that could or will be the resistance to getting to what you really, really want in 2024.
Almost done. Let’s keep moving…
R = Resistance
Ahh, my good friend resistance.
Resistance is everywhere, and its main goal is to stop you from achieving your vision.
It’s either a something (what) or a person (who) that might stop you from getting to where you want to go.
And resistance is made up of either Barriers, Hurdles, or Gaps, the final three letters in the equation.
A Barrier is something that can’t be moved. It could be a government regulation or an actual law that you will need to work around in order to get to your vision.
A Hurdle is something that you will have to jump over to get to where you want to go. You can totally do it, but it takes energy and effort to hurdle it and can be very frustrating to deal with. This could be trying to get together with someone you are trying to restore a relationship with or recovery from an injury as you work to get back to your optimal health.
A Gap is a hole that needs to be filled before you can go on. This could be a key hire or maybe a certification you need to get to the level you want.
And there you have it. The change equation.
To summarize, here it is below:
Dissatisfaction x Vision x Naturally Next > Resistance (Barriers/Hurdles/Gaps)
And once again, always know… without vision, life becomes negative.
The goal for you is to preserve and clearly define what you really, really want in 2024, and go after it with everything you have.
Then maybe, just maybe, you can help someone else deal with their dissatisfaction and get to their vision, too.
Blessings to each and every one of you.
Keep fighting to get clarity and destroy any negativity. Do the hard work and once you do you will become more effective to those around you.
That’s all for today’s message. Thanks for reading!
Until next time,
If you’re ready to take your leadership journey to the next level, I’d highly recommend you grab of copy of our newly released book, The Communication Code.
Grab it below:
Get the Communication Code Book
A step-by-step roadmap to improve your relationships and communication with those around you.
Relational Intelligence is the science of highly-functional relationships (HFRs). Learn how to navigate and manage your interactions with others effectively.