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Relational Intelligence at Work

My 2024 Challenge to You

My 2024 Challenge to You

Steve Cockram

on December 26, 2023

Hey, it's Steve Cockram here.

Welcome to the Relational Intelligence at Work newsletter where every Tuesday you’ll get an email directly to your inbox from either Jeremie or myself.

This newsletter's primary goal is to support you on your personal growth journey, and to equip you with the skills and knowledge you need to excel as a leader.

As a Brit, I don’t find celebration easy, it’s not really in our cultural DNA. However, I’ve seen the power of celebration at work in people’s lives and am now a passionate believer.

Let’s dive into today’s message…

As many of you know from previous newsletter editions, learning to celebrate is a skill that has been rather difficult for me to learn over the years, and it is most famously captured in the Jack and Alice story with Jeremie and I.

Since then, my family and I have learned the art of what we call the “Celebration Dinner” where we do something very un-British and take time to celebrate someone well.

Most recently, we celebrated Jed Wright, a member of the Cockram extended family.

Jed was 18, we gathered all the Cockrams, Wrights and the Barsellottis (our local GiANT family), and Megan, our middle daughter even came home from uni in London for the evening.

We had a meal together, played some games, and then took turns celebrating Jed as he became a man and could legally drink my Doom Bar beer for the first time.

This is natural for us now, everyone went around the table and, without being prompted, celebrated Jed.

It was remarkable to see his reaction and the power of how celebration can lift up others.

He was blown away hearing everyone’s kind words… and I was too at the sight of how far we’ve come as an extended GiANT family here in London at celebrating others.

Life is not easy being a teenager and Jed appreciated the extended family who had loved and supported him through some challenging times.

At the end of the celebration, with an ear-to-ear smile on his face, Jed said, “This has been the best day of my life!"

You never know what someone is going through at any stage in life. Being celebrated by those who know you best and love you is very powerful, it’s a fuel that we can run on for a long time.

Back when Jeremie first introduced the concept, it felt very American and very un-British.

It really did feel like a foreign concept to me.

Now, in my family, celebrations happen all the time, not just on birthdays and special occasions.

We actually get to hear from others what they appreciate most about us while we are still alive… which is a nice change of pace considering most Brits only say the really nice things at funerals!

Now, after realising and understanding the power of celebration, I do it within our team and on all of the Executive Team retreats I lead with clients, usually over dinner.

In terms of building relational trust and improving communication, there is nothing that accelerates it more than genuinely sharing your appreciation for one another.

It’s uncomfortable, a bit awkward at times, and no one wants to do it, but everyone loves it afterwards.

Just like anything else, celebration is a discipline and a muscle… it takes leadership to make it happen and it takes time to get really good at it.

Whether it’s in our teams, organisations, or in our own families, we all deeply appreciate those around us… but rarely do we take the time to sit down and verbalise our appreciation and celebrate them.

With that being said, I have a challenge for you this Christmas season.

I challenge you to host your very own “Celebration Dinner” with whoever is family to you.

Choose one person and then you go first to start the process. Everyone around the table gets their own chance to celebrate what they appreciate most about that person. It doesn’t have to be long or wordy.

Continue this process until everyone has been celebrated.

Even though celebrating doesn’t come naturally to most of us, hosting your own “Celebration Dinner” will create lasting memories and strengthen bonds within your family.

Give it a try and see the difference it makes!

That's all for today's message. I hope you enjoyed!

Until next time,

Cheers from London!

P.S.

In theory, we've never been more connected in a digital world today.

Yet, in a strange paradox, we've never been more disconnected.

The Communication Code will give you the tools and resources to rekindle and strengthen your relationships.

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